Arriving back at my 'empty nest' this morning after walking the dog, I had as usual passed the time deep in thought! There are positives and negatives surrounding the whole experience of finding oneself sitting in an 'empty nest'. In stark contrast to the riotous experience of the years spent being part of a family unit that to all intents and purposes seemed the most permanent of situations, there is most definitely a grieving process to go through. Don't get me wrong, there is a whole new world out there, once you get your head around the fact that to a certain extent, it is time to reinvent oneself!
Recently, however, I found a poem I wrote when coming to terms with this difficult episode in my life, which at the time coincided with my husband losing his career due to illness and the death of my Mother. It reminded me of my thoughts on the night I wrote it. So many things seemed to be lost, creating in their place a multitude of memories. It was a cold January night and I stood at the window. Outside, snow fell heavy from a dark sky and, looking upwards in the light of the street lamp, I stood mesmerised by the multitude of flakes drifting silently to earth and in my mind...
I dreamed I lay on the ground one night,
When the snow was falling,
Swirling drifting flakes,
Like memories from the past falling from the night sky,
Becoming me, filling me,
How can there be so many memories, so many faces?
Reaching out to touch them, they melt away,
While inside, I feel so empty.
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